A glass of spilled milk has been soaking into the carpet of the White House for at least the past two years now. The mess was found in the Oval Office shortly after President Barack Obama was sworn in. Democrats have claimed that the previous administration was responsible for the mess but Republicans fought back, arguing that the quagmire started during the Clinton era. Libertarians pointed to the nearby open window and claimed that a wolf may have gotten in and knocked over the cup.
Independents aren’t sure who made the mess, despite having ample evidence and video footage of the glass being knocked over. In the end, Independents just keep being swayed by whichever group speaks last. Meanwhile, gridlock has prevented anything from getting done.
A scientific study just released found that an absorbent cloth and a dabbing motion would do the trick, but Republicans sent out an official twitter response stating that “not all the facts are in on this whole science thing yet.” Obama sent in snipers, spilled a larger glass of milk over the original spill, and scolded the milk for three hours but nothing seemed to work. Finally, Obama made a middle of the road compromise, deciding to go with a non-absorbent cloth to clean up the mess. The mess is still there and slightly bigger, but everyone at least feels like something was accomplished.
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